Feeling Disheartened

Let me just preface this post by saying I KNOW that this journey we are undertaking is in God's hands and that His timing is divine. That being said, I pray for patience!! When we first submitted our dossier we were told that we may travel as early as February ... and as late as May. February sounded unrealistic to me and I secretly set my heart on April. Well, it now looks like the earliest that we will be able to travel is May.

i'm so sad

We had a conference call with our agency this afternoon regarding the new process for families that are adopting Waiting Children. The CCAA is now sending a Letter Seeking Confirmation of Adoption prior to sending TAs. Based on the past few months, it seems that these letters are being sent to our agency once a month, along with the referrals for families adopting through the traditional route. The average wait from DTC to receiving the Letter Seeking Confirmation (aka Acceptance Letter) is 120 days. That's just an average, and by no means a guarantee. We were DTC on 12/1/06 and IF we were to hit the average, we can expect to receive our Acceptance Letter at the end of March. The agency is giving families seven days to sign and return the letter and then they will be submitted as a group to the CCAA with a request for TAs. Once the letters are sent, TAs are generally being received about 21 days later, which would put us well into April and we can expect to travel two to three weeks after TA.

Even if we were to receive our letter in early March, which is unlikely given Chinese New Year, we still wouldn't be able to travel until May. That's because there is a huge trade fair held in China from April 15-30 and prices for airfare and travel are so inflated that agencies do not send families at this time. And then Spring Festival, a national holiday, takes place May 1-7, and families can't travel then.

The most disheartening thing about this is that Oakley continues to wait in an orphanage during her most formative months. We attended a seminar at our agency this past weekend and the information received was very enlightening, but very difficult to hear. It focused on the impact of orphanage life on child development and attachment. The facilitator indicated that during the second year of life, brain activity is most heightened and can be negatively affected when basic needs are not being met. I know most orphanages provide for these children as well as they can, given their limited resources. But the fact is ... Oakley is suffering from neglect and poor nutrition and her physical, cognitive, emotional and social needs are not being met. And the longer she is there, the harder it will be for her to overcome these obstacles.

We will do everything in our power to help Oakley realize her full potential, but it breaks my heart that we cannot reach her sooner. I think our expectations are pretty realistic and I know that as much as we want to believe it, love will not be enough. We are ready to give ourselves over to Oakley and with great effort, love, and determination, we are committed to helping her grow and heal.

Please continue to pray for our little girl.

You Make My Heart Sing!

Hagan is a beautiful soul with many talents. He loves to horseback ride and play soccer, and he can sing like a bird! He's been a member of the gifted and talented music program at school for a few years and has had several musical solo performances. I know, I know .... I sound like a proud mom:)! I don't mean to brag, but he's REALLY good!

He auditioned earlier this year for the Kentucky All-State Chorus and was selected, along with three of his classmates, to participate! This is a huge honor and I'm so proud of the time he committed to preparing for the event, rehearsing both at school and at home.

The Kentucky All-State Children's Chorus was held this week in Louisville. On Wednesday afternoon we checked into the Galt House, the host hotel. He had a full chorus seating at 6:30pm and rehearsal from 7-9pm. After rehearsal, we came back to the room, laid in our big queen-sized beds and watched American Idol and Lost (two of our favorite TV shows). It was just the two of us ... spending some treasured quality time together.

Rehearsals began Thursday morning at 8:30 and it was a full-day with breaks only for lunch and a quick snack before the evening performance. I have to admit, I teared-up a few times during the rehearsals, and I wasn't the only one. There's something about the innocent voices of children, blended together so beautifully. It makes a Mother's heart melt.

And the performance last night .... breathtaking!! I don't know how else to describe it. It was TRULY AMAZING. I'm so glad he had the opportunity to participate and that I had the opportunity to witness it.

I'm so very proud of Hagan! He makes my heart sing!

Have You Heard Anything Yet?

This seems to be the question of the day, so here's the latest scoop. We received an email from our agency on Friday regarding the changes that the CCAA has instituted for Waiting Children. Instead of waiting for TA (Travel Approval) we are now expecting to receive a LOA (Letter of Acceptance) document that we have to sign and return, confirming our desire to continue the adoption of Oakley. Initial rumors were that it could delay the process anywhere from two to eight weeks -- which seems like a lifetime at this point.

But we've been really encouraged by the number of LOAs received to date by families. One family had a LID of 11/14/06 and just received their LOA last week, which is great news! Also, most families are receiving TA within a few weeks of returning the LOA. It seems like the CCAA is trying to streamline the process and it will soon be a mirror image of the traditional adoption process in China. The good news is that once we receive our LOA we'll have a better idea of when we might expect to travel and we can get our affairs in order.

Our agency is hosting a conference call on February 12 to communicate all of the changes and procedures, so I should know more then.

The other GREAT NEWS we received last week is that Oakley's friend, Caeleigh, will be coming home soon!! Her parents just received their LOA last week so they are expecting TA anytime. They are 51 days ahead of us in terms of DTC, so while nothing is definite, that at least gives us a time frame to consider.

Please pray that God is preparing these little girls' hearts for their new families. May they be immediately comforted by our love and devotion and may God keep them safe and watch over them. Pray for a speedy LOA for us and a speedy TA for Caeleigh's parents. And while you're at it, we'd love for you to offer prayers for us in consideration of a Shaohannah's Hope grant for which we recently applied. This could go a long way in helping us meet our funding requirements!

Favorite Finds

Okay ... this is REALLY fun!! It's so exciting to be able to shop for little girl things. I LOVE my boys, but you have to admit, girl clothes are so much cuter ... and so much more plentiful! I have really refrained from buying too much too soon. Oakley now has a few things hanging in her closet, and although we haven't really started on her room, I have found a few things I just couldn't resist.

In preparation for her arrival, we moved Sawyer downstairs to my overflow scrapbooking workspace. I think he really likes his new digs ... it's away from his brothers and he has a little more privacy (but not too much)! We redid Sawyer's old room for Hagan and it turned out beautifully. He's a cowboy at heart and his room suits him well! I'll post pictures of all the bedrooms soon so you can admire Mike's handiwork. He's an AWESOME painter!

Sullivan is moving to Hagan's old room and he'll share a jack and jill bath with Oakley. Mike put up a chair rail last week and he's in the process of painting now. We're going to have it together just in time for Sullivan's big birthday party/
sleep-over this weekend! He's so very excited.

THEN .... we'll begin on Oakley's room. I bought her a distressed white sleigh bed at the Pottery Barn outlet and it matches the nightstand she's inheriting from Sullivan perfectly. I purchased her quilt (the doll dress quilt from Land of Nod) off ebay, for a bargain price, and we've selected pink and brown as the color scheme for her walls (it's one of my favorite color combinations). I have the room mapped out in my mind; now making it come to fruition will be the challenge!

Anyway .... her are some of my favorite finds so far:

1. an adorable bunny lamp for her nightstand -- I'm going to add little white pom poms to match her duvet cover and pillow sham
   
   
2. her Magnolia doll -- There is a Chinese Legend that says when a child is born there are invisible red threads connecting her to all the important people in her life, and as she grows these threads become shorter, drawing her closer to these special people. In Magnolia's pocket is a red thread, personally selected by Marcia (the doll maker) when she went to China to meet her daughter. As she chose the thread, Marcia said a prayer of blessing for all little children waiting for their "forever family".
   
   
3. a precious doll dress quilt to keep her warm and toasty at night
   
   
4. this too cute bathing suit -- I'm hoping we can take her swimming at the hotel in China! Not that I'm anxious to put on a bathing suit (ugghhhh!), but I think it's a great opportunity for skin-to-skin contact, which will promote bonding, and it should be fun and non-intrusive. I'm hoping for the best!
   

Have I mentioned that I'm having fun?!?!

Oakley's Growing Up

We received new measurements from our agency today and our baby girl is growing up WITHOUT US. Why must it take so long to process the paperwork?!?! When I first saw her face she was just 22 months old. Now she's 29 months old and I want to be there to celebrate each and every milestone!

Here's how she measures up:

Height: 87 cm (34.25 inches)

Weight: 15 kg (33 lbs)

Chest Circumference: 51 cm (20 inches)

Feet Length: 14 cm (5.5 inches)

According to the American CDC Growth Charts, she ranks in the 25th percentile in height and in the 90th percentile in weight. The orphanages tend to clothe the babies in MANY layers for warmth, and I'm not sure if she was weighed with or without those layers. Regardless, she seems to be pretty healthy!

I think she's probably wearing a size 3T, and of the few things I've purchased for her wardrobe, this is the size I've been buying. I wish I could freeze time until we reach her!

They Don't Stay Little for Long

I know all too well how quickly time passes, and how fast they grow up. Sullivan, my youngest, will be SEVEN tomorrow!! How does that happen? I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I was cheated. Sullivan entered our family trying to play catch-up to his two older brothers and he never really wanted to be a baby. He is ALL boy and it's truly never fast enough, high enough, or adventurous enough for him. He is fearless, but oh, so sweet.

He's definitely the most affectionate of the three boys and loves to climb in our bed every morning to cuddle. I WILL say, however, that although he loves to hug, give back rubs, and hold hands, he REFUSES to give anyone a kiss. He stopped cold turkey over a year ago because he said he "didn't like the sound it makes." No, we're not necessarily noisy kissers. I thought for a long time that it was just a phase, but I'm beginning to wonder. I've cried over it, I've bribed, I've threatened ... but to no avail. He knows it makes me and his Dad sad (mostly me), and I can tell it truly breaks his heart, but he won't budge.

I DID get a few Eskimo kisses this week, so maybe he's slowly easing back into the world of kisses .....

Funding Our Journey to Bring Oakley Home

I don't even know where to begin. We have been so blessed and have SO MANY people to thank for helping support our journey, both in financial contributions, and in prayer.

When I first shared with Michael my desire to adopt a little girl, his FIRST comment was, "I'm totally open to the possibility." His SECOND comment was, "I'm not sure how we're going to afford it." And my response, was, "I'm not either. Let's do it!" Not very practical, I know. But this IS a journey of faith.

We both struggle with the fact that we aren't better prepared for the boys' future higher education needs. They are all four years apart and while we won't have two in college simultaneously, the reality is that we have 12 years (now 16, with Oakley) of college tuition looming ahead in the not-so-distant future. A typical adoption from China costs anywhere from $18,000 to $23,000. When you include all the incidental fees not taken into account in the estimated budgets provided by the agency, it can easily rise to $25,000. Needless to say, we don't have that kind of money at hand.

I knew it would be necessary to do some fundraising to help with the costs and as a family, we were committed to saving and sacrificing where possible. The boys were selfless from the start and fully supported our decision not to vacation this summer.

We established a special account for our journey to bring Oakley home and held our first fundraiser on June 17, 2006. Our yard sale yielded over $743 and Hagan sold $46 worth of cookies and lemonade. NOT a bad start!

My sister, Lori, one of the most SELFLESS people I know, organized a yard sale at her house and told me that she was going to donate all proceeds to our adoption fund. She shared this information with some of her friends and coworkers and the response was overwhelming! They donated enough items to fill her garage to capacity and Lori spent DAYS getting everything organized and priced. She's quite the merchandiser and some people would go so far as to say she could be a professional yard sale consultant! The one-day sale netted $540.13 and we still had enough inventory to go another round. The weather warmed up a few weeks later, and Yard Sale Fundraiser Part II netted another $386.22. Many, many thanks to Lori and company for your generous spirit and support!

In November, my dear friend Leigh Reed, also a Pampered Chef consultant extraordinaire (http://www.pamperedchef.biz/leighreed), helped me organize a Pampered Chef fundraiser. Guests were challenged to help sell raffle tickets for a Pampered Chef Shopping Spree and gather orders from their family, friends, coworkers, neighbors and associates. My family and friends rose to the challenge with great enthusiasm, and I will be forever grateful to everyone who participated. This fundraiser netted $1,637 in cash! My special thanks to Leigh for doing everything in her power to ensure a successful event:)!

In January, I hosted the 7th annual Cornerstone Inn Scrapbooking Retreat in Brown County, Indiana. I prepared about eight page layouts and held a silent auction. Thanks to my Creative Memories clients and friends, this brought in another $171 for our adoption fund.

In addition, family and friends have donated $6,160 toward our adoption fund. This has been a very humbling experience and we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for opening your hearts to us and sharing your resources. Michael and I have been truly amazed by the generosity and have wept tears of joy on more than one occassion for the blessings that have come our way.

Here's a summary of the funds we've raised to date:

• Yard Sale (6/17/06) - $789.00
  
  
• Yard Sale at Lori's (10/21/06) - $540.13
  
  
• Yard Sale at Lori's (11/24/06) - $386.22
  
  
• Pampered Chef Fundraiser (11/29/06) - $1,637.00
  
  
• Scrapbook Silent Auction (1/7/07) - $171.00
  
  
• Contributions from Family and Friends - $6,160.00
  
  TOTAL FUNDS RAISED TO DATE - $9,683.35

We have truly felt from the beginning that God is preparing our family to bring Oakley home and we trust Him to prepare us emotionally, spiritually and financially. To each of you that has contributed to our journey, please accept our heartfelt THANK YOU!! We feel so very blessed by your love and support and appreciate you answering the call to help provide for a little girl, so very far away, who needs to come home.