Monday, February 12, 2007

Feeling Disheartened

Let me just preface this post by saying I KNOW that this journey we are undertaking is in God's hands and that His timing is divine. That being said, I pray for patience!! When we first submitted our dossier we were told that we may travel as early as February ... and as late as May. February sounded unrealistic to me and I secretly set my heart on April. Well, it now looks like the earliest that we will be able to travel is May.

i'm so sad

We had a conference call with our agency this afternoon regarding the new process for families that are adopting Waiting Children. The CCAA is now sending a Letter Seeking Confirmation of Adoption prior to sending TAs. Based on the past few months, it seems that these letters are being sent to our agency once a month, along with the referrals for families adopting through the traditional route. The average wait from DTC to receiving the Letter Seeking Confirmation (aka Acceptance Letter) is 120 days. That's just an average, and by no means a guarantee. We were DTC on 12/1/06 and IF we were to hit the average, we can expect to receive our Acceptance Letter at the end of March. The agency is giving families seven days to sign and return the letter and then they will be submitted as a group to the CCAA with a request for TAs. Once the letters are sent, TAs are generally being received about 21 days later, which would put us well into April and we can expect to travel two to three weeks after TA.

Even if we were to receive our letter in early March, which is unlikely given Chinese New Year, we still wouldn't be able to travel until May. That's because there is a huge trade fair held in China from April 15-30 and prices for airfare and travel are so inflated that agencies do not send families at this time. And then Spring Festival, a national holiday, takes place May 1-7, and families can't travel then.

The most disheartening thing about this is that Oakley continues to wait in an orphanage during her most formative months. We attended a seminar at our agency this past weekend and the information received was very enlightening, but very difficult to hear. It focused on the impact of orphanage life on child development and attachment. The facilitator indicated that during the second year of life, brain activity is most heightened and can be negatively affected when basic needs are not being met. I know most orphanages provide for these children as well as they can, given their limited resources. But the fact is ... Oakley is suffering from neglect and poor nutrition and her physical, cognitive, emotional and social needs are not being met. And the longer she is there, the harder it will be for her to overcome these obstacles.

We will do everything in our power to help Oakley realize her full potential, but it breaks my heart that we cannot reach her sooner. I think our expectations are pretty realistic and I know that as much as we want to believe it, love will not be enough. We are ready to give ourselves over to Oakley and with great effort, love, and determination, we are committed to helping her grow and heal.

Please continue to pray for our little girl.


The Vander Meer's said...

Hi Jana,

This is Audrey from your Adoption Assistance group. I tried to email you through the group it didn't go through. I just wanted to say that I just read your latest post. I know that the wait is difficult. I will pray for your patience during this time. On a possitive note, Our LID was 11/27/06 and we received our LOA on 2/9/07. I think things are moving a little faster through CCAA than expected. I hope it moves as quickly for you. Your family is in our prayers.
Waiting for Duncan

Jennifer said...

Jana -

Although I already knew all of this from our talk, my heart still breaks for you! I continue to pray for you and the ache that you feel waiting for your baby who is so far away. I pray also for Oakley - that God is preparing her heart for the huge change and adjustment that she will be facing as well. Although it might seem that love cannot conquer all her needs and adjustments... God is bigger than all of this, and He will continue to have his hand on you and your entire family.

We love you - and we are here for you!

Much love,
Jennifer and the Gang

Anonymous said...

On dark days, it is hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel. It is impossible to find your way. I can't imagine, or begin to imagine, what your heart is going through right now. I can only offer words shared by my own mother. Growing up, my mom would always say, "when doors are closed, windows are opened". We see these closed doors right now in the long 'wait' for Oakley. But, only HE knows the windows. And, they are there! Perhaps Oakley needs to still be there with her close friend....perhaps air travel right now is not good for a reason.... Perhaps there are other events about to happen that you need to be home for....None of us know His power, but with faith and love, we can always trust Him.

"Love is patient and kind!"
"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, edures all things. Love never ends!"

It is so absolutley evident the love that has blossomed in your family for Oakley! and the 'greatest of these is love!"

I am always praying for you and this journey to your love! Happy Valentines Day for your love that continues to grow!

Leigh Reed

Nicole said...

Jana, I continue to pray for you and for Oakley daily. I know it is hard honey. We love you!