Feeling Disheartened

Let me just preface this post by saying I KNOW that this journey we are undertaking is in God's hands and that His timing is divine. That being said, I pray for patience!! When we first submitted our dossier we were told that we may travel as early as February ... and as late as May. February sounded unrealistic to me and I secretly set my heart on April. Well, it now looks like the earliest that we will be able to travel is May.

i'm so sad

We had a conference call with our agency this afternoon regarding the new process for families that are adopting Waiting Children. The CCAA is now sending a Letter Seeking Confirmation of Adoption prior to sending TAs. Based on the past few months, it seems that these letters are being sent to our agency once a month, along with the referrals for families adopting through the traditional route. The average wait from DTC to receiving the Letter Seeking Confirmation (aka Acceptance Letter) is 120 days. That's just an average, and by no means a guarantee. We were DTC on 12/1/06 and IF we were to hit the average, we can expect to receive our Acceptance Letter at the end of March. The agency is giving families seven days to sign and return the letter and then they will be submitted as a group to the CCAA with a request for TAs. Once the letters are sent, TAs are generally being received about 21 days later, which would put us well into April and we can expect to travel two to three weeks after TA.

Even if we were to receive our letter in early March, which is unlikely given Chinese New Year, we still wouldn't be able to travel until May. That's because there is a huge trade fair held in China from April 15-30 and prices for airfare and travel are so inflated that agencies do not send families at this time. And then Spring Festival, a national holiday, takes place May 1-7, and families can't travel then.

The most disheartening thing about this is that Oakley continues to wait in an orphanage during her most formative months. We attended a seminar at our agency this past weekend and the information received was very enlightening, but very difficult to hear. It focused on the impact of orphanage life on child development and attachment. The facilitator indicated that during the second year of life, brain activity is most heightened and can be negatively affected when basic needs are not being met. I know most orphanages provide for these children as well as they can, given their limited resources. But the fact is ... Oakley is suffering from neglect and poor nutrition and her physical, cognitive, emotional and social needs are not being met. And the longer she is there, the harder it will be for her to overcome these obstacles.

We will do everything in our power to help Oakley realize her full potential, but it breaks my heart that we cannot reach her sooner. I think our expectations are pretty realistic and I know that as much as we want to believe it, love will not be enough. We are ready to give ourselves over to Oakley and with great effort, love, and determination, we are committed to helping her grow and heal.

Please continue to pray for our little girl.